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American people urge Bush to stay on vacation forever

[Edition 45] WASHINGTON D.C., Friday: As President Bush nears the end of his month-long holiday at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, a recent poll shows an overwhelming majority in favour of him remaining there for the next three and a half years.

Bush walks through his ranch:

[Edition 45] WASHINGTON D.C., Friday: As President Bush nears the end of his month-long holiday at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, a recent poll shows an overwhelming majority in favour of him remaining there for the next three and a half years.

Bush aides have welcomed the result, which they say coincides almost exactly with the President’s intentions. But they have advised a degree of caution in interpreting the result. “Let’s not forget that a national poll conducted late last year showed that the majority of Americans were in favour of making Al Gore President,” one said.

Most Americans said they wanted Bush to stay on holidays because it made it more difficult for him to get a big head and interrupt the fine job Dick Cheney was doing as President. The idea proved particularly popular among residents of Washington DC. “It’s really a win-win situation for us,” said Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott. “The streets are safer because all of the terrorists and journalists have followed him down to Texas. And I’m so much more productive without him popping into my office every five minutes to ask which is bigger again, the majority or the minority.”

“He seems to be working harder than ever before,” said one commentator. “Admittedly that work mainly consists of things like cutting down trees and raising barns, but it’s better than nothing.”

Bush insiders have confirmed that the President has definitely been working harder than when he was in Washington. “We’ve worked really hard making sure that people don’t think he’s goofing off during this month long holiday,” one source said. “He spends at least one or two hours a day with his aides, trying to learn the names of all the countries in the world, their capitals and their leaders. I’m so proud of him – he can even almost pronounce Reykjavik, although admittedly he still thinks it’s the capital of Ireland.”