[Edition 42] THE HAGUE, Monday: Disgraced former Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic has brushed off against charges for war crimes against humanity and mass genocide. “Look, I’m not to blame. I only issued the orders. You should talk to the people who carried them out.”

Milosevic

[Edition 42] THE HAGUE, Monday: Disgraced former Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic has brushed off against charges for war crimes against humanity and mass genocide.

“Look, I’m not to blame. I only issued the orders. You should talk to the people who carried them out.”

“If you follow the logic that I’m guilty of war crimes, then, hell, Hitler and Pol Pot would be liable as well.”

Milosevic has received a court-appointed attorney who made a short statement to the press. “I will be briefing Mr Milosevic on his rights under the UN’s Human Rights Charter just as soon as I’ve finished the drink driving case I’m working on at the moment.”

Last night, Milosevic described his transferal to The Hague as “illegal and unconstitutional” unlike the deaths of the 200,000 Kosovars, Croats and Muslims he ordered.

Having handed Milosevic over, Serbia will now immediately receive $1 billion in aid.

“This is a great day for Serbia,” said a government official. “Not only are we now rid of Milosevic, but we’ve also got rid of all those Kosovars, Croats and Muslms and we get paid a billion dollars for it!”

A representative from Serbia said they were pleased to hand Milosovic over as it would help the battle to bring all those responsible for the carnage to justice had not ended. “This means we’re one step closer to having the US commanders face trial over their bombing of civilian targets.”

“If only their country wasn’t a recalitrant nation that refused to respect international law and hand their war criminals,” he said.